Gregg Doyel

Ryan Howard's father is being compared to the daddies of Eli Manning and Eric Lindros. Not good company.

I'm with this writer from Philadelphia on the idiot Eagle Mike Patterson right up to the point where the writer calls Patterson "insensitive" to Andy Reid because of Reid's sons' problems with drugs. And now I'm lost.

The 49ers should change their nickname to Sooners. Reason? You have to understand the genesis of the word "Sooner" in Oklahoma history, a state that was settled by people who cheated the early land rush by entering the Oklahoma territory too soon. Still they were rewarded with land. Hence, the state nickname Sooners. That's a great story, and I hope to hell I told it correctly.

Well look who's late to the party? This guy just figured out that Michael Jordan and Isiah Thomas were every bit as bad in the front office as they were good on the court.

Trent Johnson is winning huge at Stanford, where winning huge is inhumanly difficult, and after making him work toward the end of his contract the school is going to give him a three-year extension? That's nice. Stanford apparently doesn't appreciate what it has. Maybe the interest of other schools will send the message.

It turns out the Suns won't lose every single game now that they have Shaq. Whew.

Then again, in that game the Suns won, it was just Memphis.

That genius Pat Riley is finally starting to realize that he wasted a first-round draft pick on Daequan Cook, for every possible reason.

Roger Clemens' lawyer took time away from the Rocket to comment on the Rockets. Kind of confusing. But cool story.

Bartolo Colon is pleasantly plump.

OK, he's fat.

The original founder of the UFC -- not Dana White -- is putting on another promotion, and his first card is downright fascinating.

Two NFL players got into a fight, then pressed charges against each other, then went all the way to trial before ... what?

Honestly, Dirk Nowitzki and Jason Kidd: Get a room.

Shaquille O'Neal is working his magic on the Suns.

Knicks coach Isiah Thomas says the NBA is slowly phasing out big men. Which came as news to his biggest man, Eddy Curry. And not good news, if you were wondering.

The latest story out of Pacers Land should be titled, "When a posse goes wrong."

Nothing is going right for obvous alleged steroid user Roger Clemens. It's not like his wife didn't have enough reasons to be mad at him.

Tony La Russa is the biggest enabler in the big leagues. In addition to all the other cheaters on his roster, he wanted Barry Bonds too.

The fallout against Michael Beasley has begun to, um, fall.

MMA's return to the Pacific Northwest was a dud, right to the last, when Bob Sapp completely sucked.

Earlier in the night, Joe Riggs looked like he might become the first (known) paralyzed fighter in MMA history.

Thanks to some tremendous reporting by CBSSports.com's Gary Parrish, we're now aware of the ridiculous ultimatum posed to Indiana AD Rick Greenspan by several Hoosiers, who said they'll walk out on the team if Greenspan follows through on his plan to get rid of phonin' Kelvin Sampson.

Do it, Greenspan. Get rid of Sampson and let the chips idiots fall where they may.

This is a toothless threat, first of all. D.J. White is going to give up his last shot at playing in the Final Four? Eric Gordon is going to give up his only shot at the Final Four? They can't be that dumb. And if they are ... do it, Greenspan. Send the message right now that Indiana will not be told how to run its shady business by college kids.

Right now Greenspan looks terrible for bringing in Sampson in the first place. He'll look even worse if he refuses to kick the cheater to the curb. And if he caves in to the players? He'll end his own career. He's finished.

But if he stands up to the players, even if they follow through on their threat, he will look noble for the first time in his miserable career at Indiana. And Indiana will recover.

If Indiana gives in to college kids who love their cheating coach? Greenspan won't recover from that. Neither will Indiana. Not ever.

Call their bluff, Greenspan. The college kids might have more cards in their hand, but you've got something more valuable.

The knowledge that you're right.

Everyone seems to think so, even Gary Sheffield and presumably Alex Rodriguez.

If you will recall, A-Rod maneuvered around Boras this offseason to get his deal done with the Yankees after Boras botched the process so badly that A-Rod was villified for opting out of his contract.

Now this. Now Sheffield, who has a big mouth and a wild side of his own, is coming out and calling Boras a bad person. He says he will have lots more to add after his grievance with Boras is settled.

Neither Boras nor Sheffield cuts a particularly sympathetic figure, but I'll take Sheffield every time. Sheffield's biggest problem is he's too honest, whereas Boras' biggest problem is he's ... not.

More bad pub for Boras. I love it. That's OK, right?